Movie Review – 2012

Oh noes. Things breaking around us. Quick! Drive down the street really fast. Watch out for that big hole! Whew, you jumped it. OH NOES! That building is falling in slow motion. I have an idea. Drive through it. We have enough time. It’s falling in slow motion yet we are driving fast. Oh shit! Another big hole to jump. Watch out. The overpass ahead is now falling in slow motion. Drive under it quickly. Again we’ll make it because it is falling in slow motion. Now we need a plane. Quick take off before the runway cracks apart. Whew! just in time. Oh noes! Building is falling on us in slow motion again. Quick, fly under it. Now we’re in Yellowstone with a Woody. Everything is blowing up. Quick! Drive that camper you stole from Woody back to the plane. Jump that huge hole. Watch out for falling fireballs. Yeah! Made it back to the plane. Quick take off before the runway cracks apart again. Whew! Just in time. Oh noes! Ash cloud is trying to eat us in slow motion. Quick, fly plane faster. Yeah. We win. Oh noes. Now we need a bigger plane to fly to China. Quick, fly from Yellowstone to Las Vegas. Oh no. No big planes. Oh good. John sees his client from LA and they have a big plane. Quick take off before the runway cracks apart AGAIN. Whew! just in time. Oh noes! We’re almost out of gas. Why are the jet engines exploding when we run out of gas? Whew. The earth shifted around and we have just enough gas to land on this mountain in China. Why are you turning this movie off? This is great. No really. This is really good. Just wait until they need to take off in a plane again. We have a real edge of your seat idea for it. We’re going to have the runway start to crack apart in front of them. WAIT! COME BACK!

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