Today I was out buying a new shirt when I heard a buzzing motor sound behind me. At first I thought it was a motorized chair some stores offer for their less mobile customers. The sound just zipped through my mind and I didn’t give it much thought.
A few minutes later I heard the same sound again. As I turned my head I was actually surprised by what I saw. An electric baby stroller. WHAT?!?! AN ELECTRIC BABY STROLLER?!
Now wait a minute.
I understand the US is in a period of over blown decadence. SUVs larger then some people homes, giant plates of food at restaurants, super sized everything, mobile phones with so many features you almost can’t even use it as a phone, and televisions and DVD players for your car… but a motorized baby cart?
I watched the woman for a short time wondering if she perhaps had a back problem or showed some sign she needed a motor assisted cart to push around 20 pounds of baby meat. Nope, I didn’t see anything outright. She seemed to function fairly well.
I started wondering what benefit a motorized baby cart could bring to the table. Now, I’m no stranger to baby carts. I’ve used them before. The one single thing I remember from using them is the ease of take out and break down between uses. Upon inspection of this cart it seemed to not have this. For one, it looked quite heavy. My guess with the battery, motor and reinforced frame, it might hit around 40-50 pounds – with the added benefit of being bulky.
The woman driving this silly thing had a somewhat small frame, so I would guess getting this monster in and out of her car would be somewhat of a struggle for her.
The weight of the baby, which looked to be about 6 months, might have been around 20 pounds. It didn’t look fat and it didn’t have a monstrously oversized head. It looked like a regular baby of regular baby size. Now I could totally understand the need of powered stroller if the baby looked like “the worlds fattest baby” as seen on the cover of supermarket tabloids. I mean, I’m not jumping for joy at the thought of shoving Baby Rotund the 300 pound infant through the streets. I think in this case I’d consider one of those motorized forklifts that go “beep-beep-beep” when they back up. But a 20 pound baby? I think most people can handle without the need of power assist.
Ok, so I think a powered baby stroller is stupid and anyone who uses one just might be, in my book, perhaps a little lazy and stupid. But wait,. My story gets better.
I see this woman later in the parking lot. As I expected she wasn’t having a good time hefting this machine into the back of her HUGE Cadillac Escalade. I had to stand and watch to see if the benefit of a powered baby stroller outweighed the hassle of getting it into the SUV. Plus, I’ll admit I rather enjoyed watching someones decadence bite them in the ass.
So she tries a few times to wrangle this bugger into the SUV (honestly it didn’t seem like she was trying very hard). And then, for the second time today, I was actually surprised by what I saw. She hit up a fellow walking by for assistance. I couldn’t hear what she said, but he hefted the thing into the back of the Escalade for her as she directed him with pointed fingers and arm movements. She waved a good bye and pulled herself into her suburban tank.
I don’t even know how to finish this story. I’m at a loss for words. But I will say this..
AN ELECTRIC BABY STROLLER?! AN ELECTRIC BABY STROLLER?! AAAAAAAAARGH!